Not about bodily functions. I have some other posts on that.
This post is about Child #2, AKA Little Dude, who thus far has shown no real signs of SPD.
I worry about him. That he’s going to resent his brother’s need for extra time and attention and effort. That the Dolphin’s challenges are affecting his quality of life, his opportunities, his time with me.
Dolphin gets rough with Little Dude. Little Dude often becomes punching bag before I can intervene and help the Dolphin practice responsible ways to manage his anger and overstimulation.
Dolphin gets to call a lot of the shots of what we are going to do for the day. It’s too much stimulation to get out of the house a lot of days, and Little Dude just wants to go out and play and explore. Translation: Little Dude gets shut down to accommodate his big brother.
Sure, there is sibling rivalry. That’s normal. Some days they play together so sweetly and cooperatively it my breath catches in my throat and my lungs freeze, unable to expand or contract as if breathing might disrupt a magical spell.
My biggest fear? That Dolphin will really hurt Little Dude. When Dolphin is totally triggered, he’s not cognitively in control of his actions. I worry that I won’t be able to help this blossoming giant retrain the wiring in his brain keep from switching into rage/fight/flight/freeze mode at the most random triggers. Triggers like not following the rules of the game that Dolphin only has in his head. Like Little Dude winning a game, riding his bike faster, making a noise, touching the wrong Legos, asking for another sandwich…
Repetition. Enforcing and reinforcing and re-reinforcing family rules. Patience. Deep breaths. Lots of those.